RADIO BUNGALOW TOWN
I've got a high class house on the by-pass road
Porch and veranda, oh what a grand abode.
Every inconvenience, enjoy myself I will
My front garden's round at the back at the scullery window sill.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You, ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
You walk for miles, it's right out in the wilds,
And when you see the rain pelting down,
Your house is afloat, you sink under the road
And don't rise again till the gasworks explode,
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
On the Q. T. loving couples you'll see, on their honeymoon settling down
But the gushing young wives seem to be a bit hot
For every week-end different husbands they've got
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You, ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
In a bedroom next door a girl lays on the floor doing physical jerks up and down.
Through a hole in the wall, I take a sly peep end and when she starts bending I walk in my sleep
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
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RIDING IN THE T.T. RACES
If there’s one thing that I like, it's riding around on a motor-bike
I'm a speed king, when I once begin.
I once won first prize two and six, I know all the dirt track dirty tricks
I'm a marvel when I'm out to win.
In a fifty mile race I am the best, I ride five miles and skid the rest.
So come along and see me riding in the T.T. races
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
I've been riding all my life, I started quite small.
I've ridden fairy cycles, aye, and scooters and all.
Hear the people cheer me when they see me steering backwards.
Down the hill I go at break-neck speed,
See me coming down the street with the winning post on the pillion seat.
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race
Come along and see me riding in the T.T. races.
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
Once my bike was hard to ride, but I didn't mind,
Until I found they'd hitched a charabanc on behind.
Everybody's scaring, I am such a daring rider.
My inside rattles when I go the pace.
My ribs begin to shake about, there's all my spare parts sticking out.
So come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.
Alternative ending:
With my gears in reverse, the other way round I'll finish first,
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.
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RING YOUR LITTLE BELL
Never go to Dr. Quack because you've got the blues
Medicine won't make ‘em disappear.
If you've got a mild attack of chronic hoopa-zoos
Listen, here's a marvellous idea
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell, ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Now once a great explorer went exploring Um Bom Pong,
Out to catch the monkeys for the zoo.
He saw a big gorilla waving gorgeous to and from
Telling all the monkeys what to do.
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell, ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Now all the fuzzy wuzzy hussies out in Zanzibar
Thought they'd try and slim and be refined.
Most of them had put on weight and couldn't ha-cha-cha.
Big Chief Tiger Rag said "never mind".
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell, ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Late one evening our John Willie, after one or two
Got in bed and said "Good evening, dear",
The missus said "It's 4 a.m. and I'm fast asleep to you,
And what's more, tha' can't do that theer 'ere."
But if you're worried, don’t be blue, ring your little bell, ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck thee thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
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ROLLING AROUND PICCADILLY
I'm such a hot-headed young scoundrel, I might be an under-done steak
My father, you know, was a gardener, so I've turned out a bit of a rake
I know I'm too restless and daring, but youth wants its fling, you're aware
I once told that to some girl's husband
And he flung me down three flights of stairs.
I'm so fast I'll get into trouble, no doubt,
I terrify London each time I go out.
When I'm rolling around Piccadilly, giving the girls wrong ideas
Dashing along just as bold as brass, flashing me stick on each lamp post I pass.
Winking me eye in a manner that made hundreds of women leave home
And the News of the World expects big things of me,
Ee, I'm not safe to be out alone.
Now I'm thinking of joining a nightclub, such wicked tales of them they tell
I'll join some night club where the birds are,
And I might join a goose-club as well.
I know this gay life's telling on me, my end will be tragic and grim
My dad turned me out and won't let me sleep on the same doorstep as him
I've spent twice the money of other young scamps
With fourpence in cash and three ha'pence in stamps.
I go rolling around Piccadilly, making smoke come down me nose.
Cheap cigarettes never touch my lips, I only collect those fag ends with gold tips.
When I'm out I look such a gay dog, that a butcher once threw me a bone.
And I've sent Scotland Yard nearly out of their minds.
Ee, I'm not safe to be out alone.
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RUNNING ROUND THE FOUNTAINS
Now I have got a story, and believe me folks it's true
So if you listen for a while, I’ll tell my tale to you.
Now if you go to London, there's a thing you mustn't miss.
It’s quite a simple matter, all you have to do is this.
Go running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Just take a peep into the Palace yard
You’ll find all the gates are locked and barred.
And the soldiers that should be on guard
Are running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
And then there’s Madam Tussauds, that’s a well-known waxworks show
Now that’s the place where all the country trippers like to go.
The figures that you heard about now they’re no longer there.
There's only one place you will find them, I will tell you, where
They're running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Henry the Eighth, chasing Anne Boleyn
Old Dr. Crippin looking haggard and thin.
And Charlie Peace with his old violin
Are running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Now when I took a trip to London some few weeks ago
To see the House of Parliament, thought I’d like to go
The Speaker simply looked at me with such an icy stare
I said, "Where’s the others?" and he said "I’ll tell you where,
They’re running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Lloyd George, Baldwin, dear old Ramsey Mac
Early every morning you will find them on the track
With Lady Astor, June and Amy Johnson at the back
They’re running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Its the finest sport in all the land, when you’ve tried it you’ll understand.
That’s why Jack Hylton and his band
Go running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
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RHYTHM IN THE ALPHABET
Boys and girls come out to play, learn to spell the modern way.
When you learn your A B C, take a tip from me
A-B-C-D-E-F-G, that's what teacher taught to me
But oh what a shock she's gonna' get
When she hears a little RHYTHM IN THE ALPHABET.
H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P, teacher always picks on me.
But I've got something, yeh, you bet, a little bit of RHYTHM IN THE ALPH-A-BET.
C - A - T spells cat we know, H – E – N spells hen.
Add a little hi-de-hi-de-ho and add a little water to the G - I – N
A - B - C - D - E - F - G, H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P
Now just once more so we don t forget
A little bit of rhythm, that's the stuff to give 'em.
A little bit of RHYTHM IN THE ALPH-A-BET.
S – I – X spells half a dozen, X – X – X three draws
I – O – U a half a crown, "Oh, hello" – where’s George!
A - B - C - D - L - M - S as well, I told the teacher to go to - bed
She had a pain so we sent for the vet.
She had too much rhythm, she had the pieces with 'em
She had too much RHYTHM IN HER ALPH-A-BET.
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SAID THE LITTLE BROWN HEN
Down on our farm the animals all roam about in pairs,
But lately they've got all mixed up, with their love affairs.
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you,
But why do you go quack instead of cluck?"
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you,
But I can't speak the language of the duck.
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter,
Shortly after, came a lot of little chicks and a lot of little ducks.
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you.
Now they don't know whether to quack, quack or cluck cluck.
The old black crow instead of cawing all day sings so sweet.
The donkey too, instead of braying, now goes tweet, tweet, tweet.
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat, "I love you,
But why do you go ma instead of moo?"
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat, "I love you,
But I'll stand no old buck from a kid like you."
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter
Shortly after, came a little brown calf with a nanny goat's beard.
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat,
"I warn you, If you call me an old brown cow you'll get my goat."
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you,
But why do you go snort instead of boo?"
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you,
But a snort like you would be too bad by far."
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter
Shortly after, every little lamb had a trotter and a snout.
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you.
So the little lambs now have pimples on their pork.
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SALLY THE SALVAGE QUEEN
There's a dame who travels round, to salvage she attends
Down every road she finds a load of junk and odds and ends.
At lifting things she's got the knack, pots and pans inside a sack,
With a chest of drawers upon her back, that's Sally the Salvage Queen
She is always on the spot, amongst the ruins like a shot
The biggest ruin of the lot, is Sally, the Salvage Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and-day
To save a pub from fire she tried, dragged six barrels out with pride,
And another five quarts of beer inside of Sally the Salvage Queen.
Once there was an awful blast, gas was soon escaping fast.
They stopped the gas main up at last, with Sally the Salvage Queen.
She'll drag out chairs all thick with dust, an old bedstead all gone to rust,
And a couple of saucepans down her bust, that's Sally the Salvage Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and day.
Wrapped up in an old dishcloth was a toilet set from Mrs. Goff,
And a what's-a-name with the handle off, for Sally the Salvage Queen.
A crane they fixed above a pit, they hauled it up but had a fit,
Hooked by her slacks on the end of it, was Sally the Salvage Queen.
Furniture she saved all right, saved a bed with sheets so white,
And a couple of wardens for tonight, that's Sally the Salvage Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and day.
Buried in a hole was she, upside down they dragged her free,
With her legs shaped V for Victory, that's Sally the Salvage Queen.
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SENTIMENTAL LOU
There’s a swell dame round the town, horses shy when she comes by
So downhearted she can be, she reminds you of a cemetery.
She’ll sob and sigh and weep and cry, till teardrops fall like dew.
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She can shift cocktails that are mixed in pails,
Till her nose turns red and blue,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with two humps,
Full of eggs and ham and a tin of Spam , a drop of mother’s ruin too,
That’s temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She will dance and skip and shake her hip and shake the dance floor too,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
When she starts to cough her hat blows off and her ears start flapping too,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with two humps,
She’s got teeth like slate on a concrete plate that are fastened in with glue
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
In the bargain stores she’s started wars far worse than Waterloo
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s been known to spar with Tommy Farr, he’s been three days coming to
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with the mumps,
Full of love and dope she was the soldiers’ hope, when they got to Mersa Matruh.
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
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SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE
It’s always nice to know, as through life you go
You’ve some real good pals all the while
I mix with a set, finest lads I’ve met, like me with dashing style.
Don’t quarrel who should pay, we work things out our way.
We all share and share alike, just like real good pals
They share everything with me, they play the game, I do the same
We all just give and take, and it works out fine
They’ve never any money but they’re real good pals so they all share mine.
We like to have a joke, with the women folk
Oh we’re all real devil may care
If a fella clicks he shares with five or six, we’re all like ‘Owen Nares’.
The girls always make a fuss, over strapping cavemen like us
But we all share and share alike, just like real good pals.
They share everything with me, they play the game, I do the same
They all just give and take, and it works out fine.
Not one has got a missus but they’re real good pals so they all share mine.
Not one has got a home but still they’re real good pals so they all share mine
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SHE CAN'T SAY "NO"
Mabel was an able girl when she was very small
Even learnt to speak, Latin, French and Greek
But there is a little word she never can recall
Cos she never uses it at all.
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; She's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
One night while out walking I thought she said "no"
But I found out later she really said 'oh'
I'm sure some day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no.
Patter
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; she's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
When boys ask her things she's so misunderstood
She may not say 'no' but she means to be good
I'm sure one day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no.
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; she's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
She works in an office, her boss makes her wait
Her eyes have got circles through working too late
I'm sure one day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no
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SHE’S GOT TWO OF EVERYTHING
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
Is an adage old so it must be true and it seems of everything you must have two.
She's gone and filled her bottom drawer with lots of these and those
Some pretty chiffon nighties and some fully fashioned hose
And so she'll have a change of undies everywhere she goes
She's got two of everything.
She has the kind of nose that wrinkles every time she smiles
Her pretty little dimples can be seen for miles and miles
And she goes out to prove to every man that she beguiles
That she's got two of everything.
Her eyes are like the stars that shine but none of them shine like cuties
She's bound to make the grade all right with such a pair of beauties.
Technicians estimated that an evening in her arms
Would generate sufficient heat to sound the fire alarms.
I'm rather apprehensive of her duplicated charms,
'cause She's got two of everything.
Now in a competition to elect a bathing miss
It didn't take the judges long to see she's simply whizz
Their voting was unanimous, the explanation is He He!
She's got two of everything.
I went to see her etchings at her cosy little flat
Now we drank some gin and we settled down and we had a little chat
But I don't know where the etchings were, I just remember that
Oh boy; She's got two of everything.
She has me in a daze, my brain has just refused to function
She leads me round at such a pace she must have jet propulsion.
At last we're to be married and we've got all sorts of things
We've bought a stock of nappies and some cards of safety pins
And just because the doctor told her "Be prepared for twins, Madam:"
She's got two of everything.
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SHE'S NEVER BEEN SEEN SINCE THEN
It's marvellous to me the way some people lead their lives
Especially the men who've got what we call nagging wives,
And really it's quite simple folks as far as I can see.
Now married men just use your brains and take a tip from me
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since then
My old girl, what a proper nark,
I took her for a walk with me one night around the park.
We were going by the lake and it had only just gone dark,
And she's never been seen since then, no, she's never been seen since then
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since then
Her father told her that she was a pest,
She ran away to London 'cause she thought it was the best.
She couldn't find a room so she stayed in a sailor's rest
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since then
Oh she's never been seen since then, never been seen since then.
Someone said, "What a silly ass".
She didn't care a bit, she had a face as bold as brass
One night she struck a match to put a penny in the gas
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since then.
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since then.
My best pal, boy named Wood
Said he'd tame his ma-in-law but found he never could.
One night he took her on a bridge and someone heard a thud
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since then.
Oh, she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since then.
Married one year, had an awful life
Asked me how I'd like a woman like her for my wife.
I said what, and you a butcher with a chopper and a knife?
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since then.
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SITTING ON THE ICE IN THE ICE RINK
Now here's a new amusement that is get in all the craze,
You'll find that it's good exercise for folks of every age.
Now I go there most every night and sometimes take the wife,
I've never had so many ups and downs in all my life.
Since I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink
Sitting on the ice with my skates on.
It's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice and it’ll never go bad.
There's lots of nice young ladies, and how I like to tease ‘em
If they don't give way or say O.K. I sit 'em on the ice and freeze 'em.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
We had some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.
Now once I went out walking with a pretty little miss
She said "I like you very much" and gave me one big kiss.
She was a perfect little blonde and not so very old.
She let me hold her in my arms and 'by gum' she was cold
'Cause she'd been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with her skates on.
Oh how hot she must have felt, she sat upon the ice and the ice began to melt.
She was so young and pretty, what a blow that fall had dealt her
For we couldn't pick her up in the ordinary way, we had to bring a fire and melt her
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
We had some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.
Last night I went out for a drink down to the Cherry Tree
I didn't go there by myself, I took some pals with me.
We landed home at half past two, I rang the front door bell.
The wife said "Where've you bin" and I said "you can go to bed"
'Cause I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with my skates on.
It's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice and it'll never go bad.
The buttons bust off my trousers, I got into such a tangle.
I said "Heaven help the sailors on a night like this, And never let your braces dangle."
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SITTING ON THE SANDS ALL NIGHT
On the seaside sands all day though folks may romp and lark
There's heaps of fun and a lot more done on the sands when it gets dark
It's nice to watch the breezes blow, and when the moon shines bright
You can sometimes see a lot of funny things through sitting on the sands all night.
The courting couples side by side all hug each other tight
Many chaps have got a lot to answer for through sitting on the sands all night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back to you.
The tide comes up and all your clothes are soon washed out of sight,
Then you walk home in a little seaweed shirt, through sitting on the sands all night.
One girl had blisters through the sun, her shoulders looked a sight
Now she's got another blister somewhere else, through sitting on the sands all night.
A policeman shines his lamp on you, and chuckles with delight
For the rest of the week you'll find the whole darn force sitting on the sands all night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back to you.
A kiltedScotchman climbed the tower and reached the dizzy heights
With electric torches there were fifty girls, sitting on the sands all night.
The beach pyjamas that you wear, you wonder why they're tight
Then you find somebody with their legs in yours through sitting on the sands all night
The nursemaid lost the twins one day but found them quite all right
With a hat-pin picking at the winkles they were sitting on the sands all night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through,
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back at you.
You start feeling rather stiff then find that your stuck tight
With a boat hook sticking in your Westward Ho through sitting on the sands all night.
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SITTING PRETTY WITH MY FINGERS CROSSED
Every day kiddies play a little game with fingers crossed
Since I played, I'm afraid, it's a habit I have never lost
On the very first day that I saw the light, I was such a tiny mite
Father said, "He's like me and it serves him right."
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
Once I had a nursemaid who was extra nice, in the park was paradise
When a soldier kissed her on the same place twice,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes
What's the use off fiddling and twiddling your thumbs.
When my doctor said "I'm vaccinating you, not on your arm, that won't do
But they couldn't vaccinate me where they wanted to,
'Cause I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
One night in the pictures with my girl Yvonne, the lights went out one by one
Half an hour later when the lights went on, I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
Hunting with the hounds I made a rotten show (beastly), through the air, they saw me go
High up in a tree-top singing "Tally Ho! Yoiks!" I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes you see
What's the use off fiddling and twiddling your thumbs, get me?
Once I nursed a girl, her husband he came along
He went for me, (he did), good and strong, (the cad).
He said, "I've caught you playing a silly game' I said " You're wrong.
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.."
I was on a steamer when the vessel sunk, they rescued me in such a funk
With the captain's missus on the bosun's bunk,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
A scholar said my India rubber I can't find our teacher said
Well never mind, You had better use a little boy's behind"
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
What's the use of fiddling or twiddling your thumbs
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes.
On my wedding night my bride she whispered"
John, do you think I'm nice to gaze upon
But in my little twin bed with my nightie on,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
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SMILE ALL THE TIME
Now there's a job you see and it's up to you and me
To put our shoulders to the wheel.
Though the world seems upside down, do not wear a frown
Just show them how we feel.
And smile all the time and do your bit for victory
If the news seems blue don't let it bother you
Just show them show them we are British and we'll always see it through
So smile all the time and soon the sun will shine
England will never die as we’ve proved in days gone by
So try to keep fit, cos we’ve got to do our bit
And keep smiling all the time.
Now, there's battleships and tanks, aeroplanes to swell our ranks,
And Roosevelt's sending us some more
Russia’s doing well they're knocking Hitler to xxxx (hell)
And the wops are on the floor.
So darn you.
Smile all the time and do your bit for Victory
If the news seems blue folks, don't let it bother you
Remember we are British lads and we always see it through, and
So smile all the time and soon the sun will shine.
England will never die as we've proved in days gone by
So try to keep fit 'cause we've got to do our bit
And keep smiling all the time.
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SOMEBODY'S WEDDING DAY
"I know pronounce you man and wife"
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married
In Hollywood where films are made, the parsons there they do a roaring trade.
"Let's work fast", the clergyman cried, the film star replied 'O.K."
Who'll give the bride away, great Scott, sixteen men jumped on the spot,
And they shouted, "we could, but we'd rather not,
For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married.
A Saxon king of long ago, he never read what husbands ought to know.
All his wealth and kingdom complete, down at her feet he'll lay.
The king is sixty-nine next spring, the bride a healthy strong young thing.
No wonder they shout "God save the king"
For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married.
They elope to Gretna Green, the village blacksmith keeps the party clean.
The bride-groom said, "kiss me under the nose, kiss me under the nose I say.
The smith, a mighty man is he, says to the bride now you kiss me
Under my spreading chestnut tree, For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married
At the registrar's she weds her mate, sweet sixteen and never broke a plate
At last she's found her wandering boy, a heart full of joy so gay.
For months he wandered out of sight, she didn't know where he wandered quite.
But she'll know where he'll wander to tonight,
For it's somebody's wedding day.
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SPOTTING ON THE TOP OF BLACKPOOL TOWER
We must do our duty nowadays, and fire spotting happens to be mine.
For when the warden said "Old man get high up if you can",
I told him that suited me fine
And I go spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
We must keep on watching, we're going to win you bet
Though luxuries are scarcer and maybe hard to get.
But I've seen lots of articles they haven't rationed yet
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
Down there on the sandhills I hear the happy throng
One girl with her boyfriend kept bursting into song.
But later on she sang, "Oh Lord you made the night too long",
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
I had a fellow worker, he said "This job's a gift",
But when the siren sounded you should have seen him shift,
He shot down fourteen floors and found he'd gone without the lift
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
One girl came to help me, her name was Mary Hope.
She said she'd spot the fires and get to know the dope,
But all she did was fiddle with the little telescope,
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
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SITTING ON THE TOP OF BLACKPOOL TOWER
Now we all have our hobbies nowadays, and my hobby I think is so devine.
I never go out on a hike, play golf or ride a bike,
But here's how I spend all my time, you'll find me
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
They call it breezy Blackpool as everybody knows,
And when you're on t' top o' tower by gum it blows and blows
We don't where the wind comes from
But we all know where it goes
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
A girl was learning swimming, she was so big and tall
Her boyfriend held her tightly for fear that she would fall
And the things I thoought were water wings weren't water wings at all
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
They've got a fortune teller in't Tower, bear in mind
She said to one fat lady, don't think that I'm unkind
I'd like to tell your future but your future's all behind
I've seen it from the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
Down there on the sandhills I hear a happy throng
One chap with his girlfriend kept bursting into song
But later on he sang, "Oh lor you made the night too long",
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
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SPRINGTIME’S HERE AGAIN
What’s that something in the air, makes us feel that we don’t care
How it clings everyone sings, wanna go places and do things.
Why do girls wear scanty clothes, little dinky bibs and bows
Show a lot of these and those, Springtime’s here again.
Why are couples coy and shy, why do they just sit and sigh
Hoping that the grass is dry, springtime’s here again.
Birds are singing, joy bells ringing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why does our tomcat go on spec, wear a blue bow round his neck
And come home looking like a wreck, Springtime’s here again.
Why does Mrs. Brown set to, make her parlour look like new
And press the lodgers trousers too, Springtime’s here again.
Why do puppies bark and bite, trot around the trees in sight
And wag their rudders with delight, Springtime’s here again
Birds are singing, joy bells ringing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why do lovers whisper "Let's, then look over maisonettes
And ask the price of bassinettes, Springtime’s here again
Why does artful Mr. Binks, call on Miss Matilda Jinks,
And want to play at tiddlywinks, Springtime’s here again
Why do cocks crow loud and shrill, giving all the hens a thrill
And new laid eggs get cheaper still, Springtime’s here again
Joy bells ringing, birds are singing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why does our curate Mr Stocks call around on Goldilocks
And rattle his collecting box springtimes here again.
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SUNBATHING IN THE PARK
Don't think I'm walking all round the world.
I've got the sunbathe craze.
I first do my back and when that's nicely fried
Then I turn round and I do t'other side.
A girl said today as I laid on the green
I was the sweetest worm she'd ever seen.
When I'm sunbathing in the park every morning when the sun goes down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
"That's not freckles" people shout, "it's the measles breaking out"
When I’m sunbathing in the park.
I’m sunbathing in the park every morning when the sun goes, down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc,
I get sunburnt nice and strong all around my om bon pong
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
I fry and frizzle and fizzle all day like a poached egg on toast
When the sun shines through my little short vest
It's so hot it scorches my family crest.
One day last week I got caught on the hop
A tramp on my chest started grilling a chop.
When I was sunbathing in the park every morning till the sun goes down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
I get sunburnt scorched and tanned all around my no-man's land
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
And the birds from every tree leave their visiting cards on me
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
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SWIM LITTLE FISH
Now once upon a time there was a little fish,
And he lived in a long long stream
And to make his way to the great wide world
Was this little fish's dream.
So a wise old trout who'd been about
Advised him what to do
Now he said "fishes wishes won't come true
If they dream the whole day through.
So swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
We're two ambitious fishes you and I, we'll get our wishes if we try try try
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Blow little bubbles all the long day through,
Show little troubles that they can't stop you
For everything in life worthwhile is hard to get my friend
So don't give up and don t give in, it's worthwhile in the end.
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on,
Swim little fella till your dreams come true,
You'll meet the very little fish for you
You can be happy if you swim, swim, swim, swim, swim little fish swim on
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
If you are weary at the river mouth, ask for a lift upon the next wave south
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Be very careful and you'll find it pays, mind how you cross the gulf and look both ways.
A chap can get a good square meal and all that he can wish
The wise fish goes to smokey roes, a good pull in for fish
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Always remember mother's good advice,
Steer clear of fishes who are not quite nice
Do nothing fishy fishy, swim swim swim swim,
Swim little fish swim on. O.k.
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SWIMMIN' WITH THE WIMMIN'
Now every year about July when summer time canes round
There's lots and lots of people at the seaside to be found
Some play golf or tennis, others like to take a rest
But here s the kind of exercise that I enjoy the best.
When I go swimin with the wimmin , ee I do have a real good time
Bobbing up and down in the water, it comes just below my Mason Dixie line
To see the ladies do their exercises,
You wouldn't think that half of them were slimming
And when the girls stand up to sneeze you can see their housemaids knees
If you go swimmin with the wimmin .
Now even when I am at home and working day to day
I always do look forward to my half day holiday
The people don't invite me out, they know my half day's mixed
I go out to the baths that day because the bathing's mixed.
And I go swimmin' with the wimmin' and I do have a real good time
I go bobbing up and down in the water, with a pretty girl whose name is Adeline.
You ought to see her latest bathing costume
It's nothing but a little bit of trimming
And what I took to be her face turned out to be a different place
When I went swimmin' with the wimnin'.
One day I went in with some of my relations
And someone went and pushed my Uncle Jim in
He came up gasping for his breath and shouted "What a lovely death
To die when swimmin' with the wimmin''.
Once I went swimmin' with the wimmin' and I did feel a big soft thing
A woman went and fainted in the water
And where she disappeared it left a ring
So I jumped in with nearly all my clothes on
And swam until my eyesight started dimming
And after fighting for my life I found I'd gone and saved the wife
So I've chucked swimmin' with the wimmin'.
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SWING IT GEORGE - PART 1
Some of these days, you're gonna miss me honey
Some of these days, you're gonna feel so lonely
You're gonna miss my hugging, you're gonna miss my kissing
You're gonna miss me honey, when I'm away
I feel so lonely, just for you only, for you know honey, you had your way
And when you leave me, you know it will grieve me
I'll kiss my little da da da da, yea, some of these days
Now's she's hard hearted Hannah, the vamp from Savanna, the meanest girl in town
Ee – Ee leather's tough but Hannah's tougher, she’s a girl that loves to see men suffer
To tease 'em and thrill 'em, to torture and kill 'em is her delight they say
I saw her at the sea-side with a great big pan
There was Hannah pouring water on a drowning man.
She’s hard-hearted Hannah, the vamp from Savanna town.
No girl made has got the shade on sweet Georgia Brown
Two left feet, but oh so sweet, is Sweet Georgia Brown
They all sigh and wanna die for Sweet Georgia Brown
I tell you just why, you know I don t lie (not much)
It's been said she knocks 'em dead when she lands in town.
Since she came why it's a shame how she knocks 'em down
Oh! fellas she can't get are fella s she ain't met
Georgia claims her Georgia named her Sweet Georgia Brown.
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SWING MAMA
You're doing great but it's out of a date, it's quite a show, but it wouldn't go
It's nice and bright, but it isn't right, it's pretty slick, but it doesn't click.
There's just one thing, even a your age you'd be all the rage (What's that thing?)
Though you're getting old you could knock 'em cold (What's that thing?)
If you wanna come back it's a thing that you lack (What's that thing?)
Why, just that thing's swing
Oh you needn't start pushing up daisies although you're seventy five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive
And you needn't go all to blazes although you're eighty one.
Swing Mister, swing sister, give yourself some fun
You wanna cure sciatica, just take it away, you don't need a rub, but a rub-a-dub-dub
Watch that rhythm take it away, oh you needn’t be past your hey day
Although you're ninety five.
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
You get along, but there's something wrong. It wouldn't flop, but it's not the top.
It's pretty swell, but it wouldn't sell You sure can wail, but it's got no sale.
There's just one thing, even a your age you'd be all the rage (What's that thing?)
Though you're getting old you could knock 'em cold (What's that thing?)
If you wanna come back it's a thing that you lack (What's that thing?)
Why, just that thing's swing
Oh you needn't go rootin' tootin' although you're seventy five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
And you needn't be high folluting' although you're eighty one
Swing mister, swing sister, give yourself some fun.
Though you're alive and kicking now, how long will you stay
Keep yourself young by a beat of the gong and dance those blues away
It's a tonic, there's no disputin' although you're ninety five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
You gotta sing, you gotta swing
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
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SWINGING ALONG SINGING A SONG
(The Boys of the New Brigade)
We're swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
Old folks we will miss you, girls in dreams we'll kiss you.
We've got a job we're seeing through.
When we're playing banker, also Crown and Anchor
We will always think of you
When we go swinging along, singing a song,
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
Patter
Swinging along, singing a song,
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
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C-D
RADIO BUNGALOW TOWN
I've got a high class house on the by-pass road
Porch and veranda, oh what a grand abode.
Every inconvenience, enjoy myself I will
My front garden's round at the back at the scullery window sill.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You, ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
You walk for miles, it's right out in the wilds,
And when you see the rain pelting down,
Your house is afloat, you sink under the road
And don't rise again till the gasworks explode,
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
On the Q. T. loving couples you'll see, o
n their honeymoon settling down
But the gushing young wives seem to be a bit hot
For every week-end different husbands they've got
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
You, ought to try living there, it's nowhere near anywhere.
In a bedroom next door a girl lays on the floor doing physical jerks up
and down.
Through a hole in the wall, I take a sly peep end and when she starts
bending I walk in my sleep
In that Radio Rodeo Hi-de-o Ho-de-o on the old bungalow town.
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RIDING IN THE T.T. RACES
If there’s one thing that I like, it's riding around on a motor-bike
I'm a speed king, when I once begin.
I once won first prize two and six, I know all the dirt track dirty tricks
I'm a marvel when I'm out to win.
In a fifty mile race I am the best, I ride five miles and skid the rest.
So come along and see me riding in the T.T. races
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
I've been riding all my life, I started quite small.
I've ridden fairy cycles, aye, and scooters and all.
Hear the people cheer me when they see me steering backwards.
Down the hill I go at break-neck speed,
See me coming down the street with the winning post
on the pillion seat.
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race
Come along and see me riding in the T.T. races.
Easier than hop scotch, beating all the top notch aces.
Once my bike was hard to ride, but I didn't mind,
Until I found they'd hitched a charabanc on behind.
Everybody's scaring, I am such a daring rider.
My inside rattles when I go the pace.
My ribs begin to shake about, there's all my spare parts sticking out.
So come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.
Alternative ending:
With my gears in reverse, the other way round I'll finish first,
Oh! Come along and see me riding in the T.T. race.
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RING YOUR LITTLE BELL
Never go to Dr. Quack because you've got the blues
Medicine won't make ‘em disappear.
If you've got a mild attack of chronic hoopa-zoos
Listen, here's a marvellous idea
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell,
ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Now once a great explorer went exploring Um Bom Pong,
Out to catch the monkeys for the zoo.
He saw a big gorilla waving gorgeous to and from
Telling all the monkeys what to do.
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell,
ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Now all the fuzzy wuzzy hussies out in Zanzibar
Thought they'd try and slim and be refined.
Most of them had put on weight and couldn't ha-cha-cha.
Big Chief Tiger Rag said "never mind".
Now if you're worried don’t be blue, ring your little bell, t
ing-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck your thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
Late one evening our John Willie, after one or two
Got in bed and said "Good evening, dear",
The missus said "It's 4 a.m. and I'm fast asleep to you,
And what's more, tha' can't do that theer 'ere."
But if you're worried, don’t be blue, ring your little bell,
ting-a-ling-a ling.
You'll be happy if -you do ring your little bell ting-ting.
Now if you're feeling mighty glum, think of happy days to come.
Don’t sit there and suck thee thumb, ring your little bell, ting, ting.
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ROLLING AROUND PICCADILLY
I'm such a hot-headed young scoundrel, I
might be an under-done steak
My father, you know, was a gardener,
so I've turned out a bit of a rake
I know I'm too restless and daring, but youth wants its fling,
you're aware
I once told that to some girl's husband
And he flung me down three flights of stairs.
I'm so fast I'll get into trouble, no doubt,
I terrify London each time I go out.
When I'm rolling around Piccadilly, giving the girls wrong ideas
Dashing along just as bold as brass,
flashing me stick on each lamp post I pass.
Winking me eye in a manner that made hundreds of
women leave home
And the News of the World expects big things of me,
Ee, I'm not safe to be out alone.
Now I'm thinking of joining a nightclub, such wicked tales
of them they tell
I'll join some night club where the birds are,
And I might join a goose-club as well.
I know this gay life's telling on me, my end will be tragic and grim
My dad turned me out and won't let me sleep on the
same doorstep as him
I've spent twice the money of other young scamps
With fourpence in cash and three ha'pence in stamps.
I go rolling around Piccadilly, making smoke come down me nose.
Cheap cigarettes never touch my lips, I only collect those fag ends
with gold tips.
When I'm out I look such a gay dog, that a butcher
once threw me a bone.
And I've sent Scotland Yard nearly out of their minds.
Ee, I'm not safe to be out alone.
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RUNNING ROUND THE FOUNTAINS
Now I have got a story, and believe me folks it's true
So if you listen for a while, I’ll tell my tale to you.
Now if you go to London, there's a thing you mustn't miss.
It’s quite a simple matter, all you have to do is this.
Go running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Just take a peep into the Palace yard
You’ll find all the gates are locked and barred.
And the soldiers that should be on guard
Are running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
And then there’s Madam Tussaud’s, that’s a well-known
waxworks show
Now that’s the place where all the country trippers like to go.
The figures that you heard about now they’re no longer there.
There's only one place you will find them, I will tell you, where
They're running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Henry the Eighth, chasing Anne Boleyn
Old Dr. Crippin looking haggard and thin.
And Charlie Peace with his old violin
Are running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Now when I took a trip to London some few weeks ago
To see the House of Parliament, thought I’d like to go
The Speaker simply looked at me with such an icy stare
I said, "Where’s the others?" and he said "I’ll tell you where,
They’re running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Lloyd George, Baldwin, dear old Ramsey Mac
Early every morning you will find them on the track
With Lady Astor, June and Amy Johnson at the back
They’re running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square
That's the thing that everybody's doing down there.
Its the finest sport in all the land, when you’ve tried it you’ll
understand.
That’s why Jack Hylton and his band
Go running round the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
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RHYTHM IN THE ALPHABET
Boys and girls come out to play, learn to spell the modern way.
When you learn your A B C, take a tip from me
A-B-C-D-E-F-G, that's what teacher taught to me
But oh what a shock she's gonna' get
When she hears a little RHYTHM IN THE ALPHABET.
H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P, teacher always picks on me.
But I've got something, yeh, you bet, a little bit of RHYTHM IN THE
ALPH-A-BET.
C - A - T spells cat we know, H – E – N spells hen.
Add a little hi-de-hi-de-ho and add a little water to the G - I – N
A - B - C - D - E - F - G, H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P
Now just once more so we don t forget
A little bit of rhythm, that's the stuff to give 'em.
A little bit of RHYTHM IN THE ALPH-A-BET.
S – I – X spells half a dozen, X – X – X three draws
I – O – U a half a crown, "Oh, hello" – where’s George!
A - B - C - D - L - M - S as well, I told the teacher to go to - bed
She had a pain so we sent for the vet.
She had too much rhythm, she had the pieces with 'em
She had too much RHYTHM IN HER ALPH-A-BET.
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SAID THE LITTLE BROWN HEN
Down on our farm the animals all roam about in pairs,
But lately they've got all mixed up, with their love affairs.
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you,
But why do you go quack instead of cluck?"
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you,
But I can't speak the language of the duck.
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter,
Shortly after, came a lot of little chicks and a lot of little ducks.
Said the little brown hen to the little white duck, "I love you.
Now they don't know whether to quack, quack or cluck cluck.
The old black crow instead of cawing all day sings so sweet.
The donkey too, instead of braying, now goes tweet, tweet, tweet.
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat, "I love you,
But why do you go ma instead of moo?"
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat, "I love you,
But I'll stand no old buck from a kid like you."
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter
Shortly after, came a little brown calf with a nanny goat's beard.
Said the little brown cow to the little white goat,
"I warn you, If you call me an old brown cow you'll get my goat."
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you,
But why do you go snort instead of boo?"
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you,
But a snort like you would be too bad by far."
Love and laughter, makes you go dafter and dafter
Shortly after, every little lamb had a trotter and a snout.
Said the little brown lamb to the little pink pig, "I love you.
So the little lambs now have pimples on their pork.
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SALLY THE SALVAGE QUEEN
There's a dame who travels round, to salvage she attends
Down every road she finds a load of junk and odds and ends.
At lifting things she's got the knack, pots and pans inside a sack,
With a chest of drawers upon her back, that's Sally the Salvage
Queen
She is always on the spot, amongst the ruins like a shot
The biggest ruin of the lot, is Sally, the Salvage Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and-day
To save a pub from fire she tried, dragged six barrels out with pride,
And another five quarts of beer inside of Sally the Salvage Queen.
Once there was an awful blast, gas was soon escaping fast.
They stopped the gas main up at last, with Sally the Salvage Queen.
She'll drag out chairs all thick with dust, an old bedstead all gone to
rust,
And a couple of saucepans down her bust, that's Sally the Salvage
Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and day.
Wrapped up in an old dishcloth was a toilet set from Mrs. Goff,
And a what's-a-name with the handle off, for Sally the Salvage
Queen.
A crane they fixed above a pit, they hauled it up but had a fit,
Hooked by her slacks on the end of it, was Sally the Salvage Queen.
Furniture she saved all right, saved a bed with sheets so white,
And a couple of wardens for tonight, that's Sally the Salvage Queen.
All the waste the wasters waste, it won't waste away
Right up to her waist in waste, she works night and day.
Buried in a hole was she, upside down they dragged her free,
With her legs shaped V for Victory, that's Sally the Salvage Queen.
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SENTIMENTAL LOU
There’s a swell dame round the town, horses shy when she comes
by.
So downhearted she can be, she reminds you of a cemetery.
She’ll sob and sigh and weep and cry, till tear drops fall like dew.
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She can shift cocktails that are mixed in pails,
Till her nose turns red and blue,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with two humps,
Full of eggs and ham and a tin of Spam , a drop of mother’s ruin too,
That’s temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She will dance and skip and shake her hip and shake the dance floor
too,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
When she starts to cough her hat blows off and her ears start
flapping too,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with two humps,
She’s got teeth like slate on a concrete plate that are fastened in with
glue.
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
In the bargain stores she’s started wars far worse than Waterloo,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s been known to spar with Tommy Farr, he’s been three days
coming too,
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
She’s either high up in the sky or low down in the dumps.
Sometimes she can be as sad as a camel with the mumps,
Full of love and dope she was the soldiers’ hope, when they got to
Mersa Matruh.
Temperamental, Sentimental Lou.
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SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE
It’s always nice to know, as through life you go
You’ve some real good pals all the while
I mix with a set, finest lads I’ve met, like me with dashing style.
Don’t quarrel who should pay, we work things out our way.
We all share and share alike, just like real good pals
They share everything with me, they play the game, I do the same
We all just give and take, and it works out fine
They’ve never any money but they’re real good pals so they all share
mine.
We like to have a joke, with the women folk
Oh we’re all real devil may care
If a fella clicks he shares with five or six, we’re all like ‘Owen Nares’.
The girls always make a fuss, over strapping cavemen like us
But we all share and share alike, just like real good pals.
They share everything with me, they play the game, I do the same
They all just give and take, and it works out fine.
Not one has got a missus but they’re real good pals so they all share
mine.
Not one has got a home but still they’re real good pals so they all
share mine
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SHE CAN'T SAY "NO"
Mabel was an able girl when she was very small
Even learnt to speak, Latin, French and Greek
But there is a little word she never can recall
Cos she never uses it at all.
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; She's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
One night while out walking I thought she said "no"
But I found out later she really said 'oh'
I'm sure some day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no.
Patter
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; she's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
When boys ask her things she's so misunderstood
She may not say 'no' but she means to be good
I'm sure one day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no.
She can't say "no"; she doesn’t know the word,
She don't say "no"; she's just a loving bird.
She's really big hearted, so gentle and kind.
She starts to say "no" and then changes her mind.
She don't say "yes", but somehow you can guess,
Just what her eyes confess.
She works in an office, her boss makes her wait
Her eyes have got circles through working too late
I'm sure one day she'll give her heart away
It seems that she can't say no
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SHE’S GOT TWO OF EVERYTHING
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
Is an adage old so it must be true and it seems of everything you
must have two.
She's gone and filled her bottom drawer with lots of these and those
Some pretty chiffon nighties and some fully fashioned hose
And so she'll have a change of undies everywhere she goes
She's got two of everything.
She has the kind of nose that wrinkles every time she smiles
Her pretty little dimples can be seen for miles and miles
And she goes out to prove to every man that she beguiles
That she's got two of everything.
Her eyes are like the stars that shine but none of them shine like
cuties
She's bound to make the grade all right with such a pair of beauties.
Technicians estimated that an evening in her arms
Would generate sufficient heat to sound the fire alarms.
I'm rather apprehensive of her duplicated charms,
'cause She's got two of everything.
Now in a competition to elect a bathing miss
It didn't take the judges long to see she's simply whizz
Their voting was unanimous, the explanation is He He!
She's got two of everything.
I went to see her etchings at her cosy little flat
Now we drank some gin and we settled down and we had a little chat
But I don't know where the etchings were, I just remember that
Oh boy; She's got two of everything.
She has me in a daze, my brain has just refused to function
She leads me round at such a pace she must have jet propulsion.
At last we're to be married and we've got all sorts of things
We've bought a stock of nappies and some cards of safety pins
And just because the doctor told her "Be prepared for twins, Madam:"
She's got two of everything.
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SHE'S NEVER BEEN SEEN SINCE THEN
It's marvellous to me the way some people lead their lives
Especially the men who've got what we call nagging wives,
And really it's quite simple folks as far as I can see.
Now married men just use your brains and take a tip from me
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since
then
My old girl, what a proper nark,
I took her for a walk with me one night around the park.
We were going by the lake and it had only just gone dark,
And she's never been seen since then, no, she's never been seen
since then
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since
then
Her father told her that she was a pest,
She ran away to London 'cause she thought it was the best.
She couldn't find a room so she stayed in a sailor's rest
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since
then
Oh she's never been seen since then, never been seen since then.
Someone said, "What a silly ass".
She didn't care a bit, she had a face as bold as brass
One night she struck a match to put a penny in the gas
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since
then.
Oh she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since
then.
My best pal, boy named Wood
Said he'd tame his ma-in-law but found he never could.
One night he took her on a bridge and someone heard a thud
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since
then.
Oh, she's never been seen since then, she's never been seen since
then.
Married one year, had an awful life
Asked me how I'd like a woman like her for my wife.
I said what, and you a butcher with a chopper and a knife?
And she's never been seen since then, no, never been seen since
then.
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SITTING ON THE ICE IN THE ICE RINK
Now here's a new amusement that is get in all the craze,
You'll find that it's good exercise for folks of every age.
Now I go there most every night and sometimes take the wife,
I've never had so many ups and downs in all my life.
Since I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink
Sitting on the ice with my skates on.
It's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice and it’ll never go bad.
There's lots of nice young ladies, and how I like to tease ‘em
If they don't give way or say O.K. I sit 'em on the ice and freeze 'em.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
We had some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.
Now once I went out walking with a pretty little miss
She said "I like you very much" and gave me one big kiss.
She was a perfect little blonde and not so very old.
She let me hold her in my arms and 'by gum' she was cold
'Cause she'd been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with her skates on.
Oh how hot she must have felt, she sat upon the ice and the ice
began to melt.
She was so young and pretty, what a blow that fall had dealt her
For we couldn't pick her up in the ordinary way, we had to bring a fire
and melt her
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
We had some fun on the run in a one-horse open sleigh.
Last night I went out for a drink down to the Cherry Tree
I didn't go there by myself, I took some pals with me.
We landed home at half past two, I rang the front door bell.
The wife said "Where've you bin" and I said "you can go to bed"
'Cause I've been sitting on the ice in the ice rink,
Sitting on the ice with my skates on.
It's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice and it'll never go bad.
The buttons bust off my trousers, I got into such a tangle.
I said "Heaven help the sailors on a night like this, And never let your
braces dangle."
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SITTING ON THE SANDS ALL NIGHT
On the seaside sands all day though folks may romp and lark
There's heaps of fun and a lot more done on the sands when it gets
dark
It's nice to watch the breezes blow, and when the moon shines bright
You can sometimes see a lot of funny things through sitting on the
sands all night.
The courting couples side by side all hug each other tight
Many chaps have got a lot to answer for through sitting on the sands
all night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back to you.
The tide comes up and all your clothes are soon washed out of sight,
Then you walk home in a little seaweed shirt, through sitting on the
sands all night.
One girl had blisters through the sun, her shoulders looked a sight
Now she's got another blister somewhere else, through sitting on the
sands all night.
A policeman shines his lamp on you, and chuckles with delight
For the rest of the week you'll find the whole darn force sitting on the
sands all night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back to you.
A kiltedScotchman climbed the tower and reached the dizzy heights
With electric torches there were fifty girls, sitting on the sands all
night.
The beach pyjamas that you wear, you wonder why they're tight
Then you find somebody with their legs in yours through sitting on the
sands all night
The nursemaid lost the twins one day but found them quite all right
With a hat-pin picking at the winkles they were sitting on the sands all
night.
Morning comes and when the day's peeping through,
You start waving to the waves and the waves wave back at you.
You start feeling rather stiff then find that your stuck tight
With a boat hook sticking in your Westward Ho through sitting on the
sands all night.
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SITTING PRETTY WITH MY FINGERS CROSSED
Every day kiddies play a little game with fingers crossed
Since I played, I'm afraid, it's a habit I have never lost
On the very first day that I saw the light, I was such a tiny mite
Father said, "He's like me and it serves him right."
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
Once I had a nursemaid who was extra nice, in the park was
paradise
When a soldier kissed her on the same place twice,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes
What's the use off fiddling and twiddling your thumbs.
When my doctor said "I'm vaccinating you, not on your arm, that
won't do
But they couldn't vaccinate me where they wanted to,
'Cause I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
One night in the pictures with my girl Yvonne, the lights went out one
by one
Half an hour later when the lights went on, I was sitting pretty with my
fingers crossed.
Hunting with the hounds I made a rotten show (beastly), through the
air, they saw me go
High up in a tree-top singing "Tally Ho! Yoiks!" I was sitting pretty with
my fingers crossed.
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes you see
What's the use off fiddling and twiddling your thumbs, get me?
Once I nursed a girl, her husband he came along
He went for me, (he did), good and strong, (the cad).
He said, "I've caught you playing a silly game' I said " You're wrong.
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.."
I was on a steamer when the vessel sunk, they rescued me in such a
funk
With the captain's missus on the bosun's bunk,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
A scholar said my India rubber I can't find our teacher said
Well never mind, You had better use a little boy's behind"
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
What's the use of fiddling or twiddling your thumbs
That's the only thing to do whenever danger comes.
On my wedding night my bride she whispered"
John, do you think I'm nice to gaze upon
But in my little twin bed with my nightie on,
I was sitting pretty with my fingers crossed.
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SMILE ALL THE TIME
Now there's a job you see and it's up to you and me
To put our shoulders to the wheel.
Though the world seems upside down, do not wear a frown
Just show them how we feel.
And smile all the time and do your bit for victory
If the news seems blue don't let it bother you
Just show them show them we are British and we'll always see it
through
So smile all the time and soon the sun will shine
England will never die as we’ve proved in days gone by
So try to keep fit, cos we’ve got to do our bit
And keep smiling all the time.
Now, there's battleships and tanks, aeroplanes to swell our ranks,
And Roosevelt's sending us some more
Russia’s doing well they're knocking Hitler to xxxx (hell)
And the wops are on the floor.
So darn you.
Smile all the time and do your bit for Victory
If the news seems blue folks, don't let it bother you
Remember we are British lads and we always see it through, and
So smile all the time and soon the sun will shine.
England will never die as we've proved in days gone by
So try to keep fit 'cause we've got to do our bit
And keep smiling all the time.
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SOMEBODY'S WEDDING DAY
"I know pronounce you man and wife"
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married
In Hollywood where films are made, the parsons there they do a
roaring trade.
"Let's work fast", the clergyman cried, the film star replied 'O.K."
Who'll give the bride away, great Scott, sixteen men jumped on the
spot,
And they shouted, "we could, but we'd rather not,
For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married.
A Saxon king of long ago, he never read what husbands ought to
know.
All his wealth and kingdom complete, down at her feet he'll lay.
The king is sixty-nine next spring, the bride a healthy strong young
thing.
No wonder they shout "God save the king"
For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married.
They elope to Gretna Green, the village blacksmith keeps the party
clean.
The bride-groom said, "kiss me under the nose, kiss me under the
nose I say.
The smith, a mighty man is he, says to the bride now you kiss me
Under my spreading chestnut tree, For it's somebody's wedding day.
It's somebody's wedding day, somebody's getting married
At the registrar's she weds her mate, sweet sixteen and never broke
a plate
At last she's found her wandering boy, a heart full of joy so gay.
For months he wandered out of sight, she didn't know where he
wandered quite.
But she'll know where he'll wander to tonight,
For it's somebody's wedding day.
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SPOTTING ON THE TOP OF BLACKPOOL TOWER
We must do our duty nowadays, and fire spotting happens to be
mine.
For when the warden said "Old man get high up if you can",
I told him that suited me fine
And I go spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
We must keep on watching, we're going to win you bet
Though luxuries are scarcer and maybe hard to get.
But I've seen lots of articles they haven't rationed yet
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
Down there on the sandhills I hear the happy throng
One girl with her boyfriend kept bursting into song.
But later on she sang, "Oh Lord you made the night too long",
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
I had a fellow worker, he said "This job's a gift",
But when the siren sounded you should have seen him shift,
He shot down fourteen floors and found he'd gone without the lift
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
Spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall.
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above drop messages of love.
One girl came to help me, her name was Mary Hope.
She said she'd spot the fires and get to know the dope,
But all she did was fiddle with the little telescope,
While spotting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
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SITTING ON THE TOP OF BLACKPOOL TOWER
Now we all have our hobbies nowadays, and my hobby I think is so
devine.
I never go out on a hike, play golf or ride a bike,
But here's how I spend all my time, you'll find me
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
They call it breezy Blackpool as everybody knows,
And when you're on t' top o' tower by gum it blows and blows
We don't where the wind comes from
But we all know where it goes
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
A girl was learning swimming, she was so big and tall
Her boyfriend held her tightly for fear that she would fall
And the things I thoought were water wings weren't water wings at all
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
They've got a fortune teller in't Tower, bear in mind
She said to one fat lady, don't think that I'm unkind
I'd like to tell your future but your future's all behind
I've seen it from the top of Blackpool Tower
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower
When the evening shadows fall
There you'll find me hour after hour
While seagulls up above, drop messages of love
Down there on the sandhills I hear a happy throng
One chap with his girlfriend kept bursting into song
But later on he sang, "Oh lor you made the night too long",
Sitting on the top of Blackpool Tower.
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SPRINGTIME’S HERE AGAIN
What’s that something in the air, makes us feel that we don’t care
How it clings everyone sings, wanna go places and do things.
Why do girls wear scanty clothes, little dinky bibs and bows
Show a lot of these and those, Springtime’s here again.
Why are couples coy and shy, why do they just sit and sigh
Hoping that the grass is dry, springtime’s here again.
Birds are singing, joy bells ringing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why does our tomcat go on spec, wear a blue bow round his neck
And come home looking like a wreck, Springtime’s here again.
Why does Mrs. Brown set to, make her parlour look like new
And press the lodgers trousers too, Springtime’s here again.
Why do puppies bark and bite, trot around the trees in sight
And wag their rudders with delight, Springtime’s here again
Birds are singing, joy bells ringing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why do lovers whisper "Let's, then look over maisonettes
And ask the price of bassinettes, Springtime’s here again
Why does artful Mr. Binks, call on Miss Matilda Jinks,
And want to play at tiddlywinks, Springtime’s here again
Why do cocks crow loud and shrill, giving all the hens a thrill
And new laid eggs get cheaper still, Springtime’s here again
Joy bells ringing, birds are singing, good times bringing you
In the season there’s a reason for the things we do.
Why does our curate Mr Stocks call around on Goldilocks
And rattle his collecting box springtimes here again.
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SUNBATHING IN THE PARK
Don't think I'm walking all round the world.
I've got the sunbathe craze.
I first do my back and when that's nicely fried
Then I turn round and I do t'other side.
A girl said today as I laid on the green
I was the sweetest worm she'd ever seen.
When I'm sunbathing in the park every morning when the sun goes
down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
"That's not freckles" people shout, "it's the measles breaking out"
When I’m sunbathing in the park.
I’m sunbathing in the park every morning when the sun goes, down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc,
I get sunburnt nice and strong all around my om bon pong
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
I fry and frizzle and fizzle all day like a poached egg on toast
When the sun shines through my little short vest
It's so hot it scorches my family crest.
One day last week I got caught on the hop
A tramp on my chest started grilling a chop.
When I was sunbathing in the park every morning till the sun goes
down
From the tip of my nose to my ten little toes, all so nice and brown
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
I get sunburnt scorched and tanned all around my no-man's land
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
All day I'm burnt at the stake just like Joan of Arc.
And the birds from every tree leave their visiting cards on me
When I'm sunbathing in the park.
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SWIM LITTLE FISH
Now once upon a time there was a little fish,
And he lived in a long long stream
And to make his way to the great wide world
Was this little fish's dream.
So a wise old trout who'd been about
Advised him what to do
Now he said "fishes wishes won't come true
If they dream the whole day through.
So swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
We're two ambitious fishes you and I, we'll get our wishes if we try try
try
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Blow little bubbles all the long day through,
Show little troubles that they can't stop you
For everything in life worthwhile is hard to get my friend
So don't give up and don t give in, it's worthwhile in the end.
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on,
Swim little fella till your dreams come true,
You'll meet the very little fish for you
You can be happy if you swim, swim, swim, swim, swim little fish
swim on
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
If you are weary at the river mouth, ask for a lift upon the next wave
south
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Be very careful and you'll find it pays, mind how you cross the gulf
and look both ways.
A chap can get a good square meal and all that he can wish
The wise fish goes to smokey roes, a good pull in for fish
Swim little fish swim on, swim little fish swim on
Always remember mother's good advice,
Steer clear of fishes who are not quite nice
Do nothing fishy fishy, swim swim swim swim,
Swim little fish swim on. O.k.
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SWIMMIN' WITH THE WIMMIN'
Now every year about July when summer time canes round
There's lots and lots of people at the seaside to be found
Some play golf or tennis, others like to take a rest
But here s the kind of exercise that I enjoy the best.
When I go swimin with the wimmin , ee I do have a real good time
Bobbing up and down in the water, it comes just below my Mason
Dixie line
To see the ladies do their exercises,
You wouldn't think that half of them were slimming
And when the girls stand up to sneeze you can see their housemaids
knees
If you go swimmin with the wimmin .
Now even when I am at home and working day to day
I always do look forward to my half day holiday
The people don't invite me out, they know my half day's mixed
I go out to the baths that day because the bathing's mixed.
And I go swimmin' with the wimmin' and I do have a real good time
I go bobbing up and down in the water, with a pretty girl whose name
is Adeline.
You ought to see her latest bathing costume
It's nothing but a little bit of trimming
And what I took to be her face turned out to be a different place
When I went swimmin' with the wimnin'.
One day I went in with some of my relations
And someone went and pushed my Uncle Jim in
He came up gasping for his breath and shouted "What a lovely death
To die when swimmin' with the wimmin''.
Once I went swimmin' with the wimmin' and I did feel a big soft thing
A woman went and fainted in the water
And where she disappeared it left a ring
So I jumped in with nearly all my clothes on
And swam until my eyesight started dimming
And after fighting for my life I found I'd gone and saved the wife
So I've chucked swimmin' with the wimmin'.
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SWING IT GEORGE - PART 1
Some of these days, you're gonna miss me honey
Some of these days, you're gonna feel so lonely
You're gonna miss my hugging, you're gonna miss my kissing
You're gonna miss me honey, when I'm away
I feel so lonely, just for you only, for you know honey, you had your
way
And when you leave me, you know it will grieve me
I'll kiss my little da da da da, yea, some of these days
Now's she's hard hearted Hannah, the vamp from Savanna, the
meanest girl in town
Ee – Ee leather's tough but Hannah's tougher, she’s a girl that loves
to see men suffer
To tease 'em and thrill 'em, to torture and kill 'em is her delight they
say
I saw her at the sea-side with a great big pan
There was Hannah pouring water on a drowning man.
She’s hard-hearted Hannah, the vamp from Savanna town.
No girl made has got the shade on sweet Georgia Brown
Two left feet, but oh so sweet, is Sweet Georgia Brown
They all sigh and wanna die for Sweet Georgia Brown
I tell you just why, you know I don t lie (not much)
It's been said she knocks 'em dead when she lands in town.
Since she came why it's a shame how she knocks 'em down
Oh! fellas she can't get are fella s she ain't met
Georgia claims her Georgia named her Sweet Georgia Brown.
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SWING MAMA
You're doing great but it's out of a date, it's quite a show, but it
wouldn't go
It's nice and bright, but it isn't right, it's pretty slick, but it doesn't click.
There's just one thing, even a your age you'd be all the rage (What's
that thing?)
Though you're getting old you could knock 'em cold (What's that
thing?)
If you wanna come back it's a thing that you lack (What's that thing?)
Why, just that thing's swing
Oh you needn't start pushing up daisies although you're seventy five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive
And you needn't go all to blazes although you're eighty one.
Swing Mister, swing sister, give yourself some fun
You wanna cure sciatica, just take it away, you don't need a rub, but
a rub-a-dub-dub
Watch that rhythm take it away, oh you needn’t be past your hey day
Although you're ninety five.
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
You get along, but there's something wrong. It wouldn't flop, but it's
not the top.
It's pretty swell, but it wouldn't sell You sure can wail, but it's got no
sale.
There's just one thing, even a your age you'd be all the rage (What's
that thing?)
Though you're getting old you could knock 'em cold (What's that
thing?)
If you wanna come back it's a thing that you lack (What's that thing?)
Why, just that thing's swing
Oh you needn't go rootin' tootin' although you're seventy five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
And you needn't be high folluting' although you're eighty one
Swing mister, swing sister, give yourself some fun.
Though you're alive and kicking now, how long will you stay
Keep yourself young by a beat of the gong and dance those blues
away
It's a tonic, there's no disputin' although you're ninety five
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
You gotta sing, you gotta swing
Swing Mama, swing papa, keep yourself alive.
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SWINGING ALONG SINGING A SONG
(The Boys of the New Brigade)
We're swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
Old folks we will miss you, girls in dreams we'll kiss you.
We've got a job we're seeing through.
When we're playing banker, also Crown and Anchor
We will always think of you
When we go swinging along, singing a song,
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
Patter
Swinging along, singing a song,
We're the boys of the new brigade.
We're on our way, happy and gay
With a smile that'll never fade.
We'll show them over there, we're not afraid
We'll go swinging along, singing a song
We're the boys of the new brigade.
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R-S