UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER Casablanca, Washington, London and Quebec, Teach us all that someone’s going to get it in the neck. It seems to me a good idea to state what we can do, Two simple words comprise the terms I’m offering to you. Unconditional Surrender, that’s the thing I’m fighting for. Unconditional Surrender from the one that I adore. Every time I ask for kisses, every time I hold your hand, All you say is if - or maybe, I find it hard to understand. On the days we have a date, you arrive hours late I think that I’ll try being tough, guess I’ll treat you rough Unconditional Surrender, and I’m not expecting less. Unconditional Surrender, just a plain straightforward yes. Unconditional Surrender, that’s the thing that I advice, Unconditional Surrender, let me see it in your eyes. Never mind about defences, disregard them from the start, When you’ve finished with pretences, let me occupy your heart. Love your figure, love your skin, I’d like to be your next of kin. Sign upon the dotted line, say that you’ll be mine, Unconditional Surrender, don’t be so darned hard to get, Unconditional Surrender, merely say you’ll be my pet. Back To Top Of Page UNDER THE BLASTED OAK A miser old once hid his gold beneath a ruined tree. My girl and I we set out to try and find that L.S.D. The lightning flashed, the thunder roared, the wind it blew and the rain it poured. As we searched for the miser’s hoard under the blasted oak. My girl said "I feel damp, I’ve got the creeps, and I’ve got the cramp." Standing here without my gamp under the blasted oak. That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed his wealth then he blessed himself, but he put a curse on me. I dug around the fungus plants, bitten by a million ants And a swarm of bees settled down my pants under the blasted oak. I said we’ll share equal shares, she caught my hand and I caught her's A mad bull caught me unawares under the blasted oak. My pants were torn fore and aft. I got wild when my girl laughed. And said, "I’ll bet you feel a draught under the blasted oak." That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed his wealth then he blessed himself, but he put a curse on me While searching for that L.S.D. a flock of pigeons in the tree Soon showed me what they thought of me under the blasted oak. Suddenly a silence fell, a ghost appeared, I gave a yell. I cried "That miser’s here as well under the blasted oak." Then that ghost all dressed in white said as he hugged my girl tight, "It’s turned out nice again tonight under the blasted oak." That miser was wiser than ever I could be, He blessed his wealth then he blessed himself, but he put a curse on me To prove that ghost was just a cheat, I gently lifted up his sheet And kicked him in the dark retreat under the blasted oak. Back To Top Of Page UP IN THE AIR AND DOWN IN THE DUMPS Now his family are the placid type who never get perturbed But he is highly strung and always seems to be disturbed. One moment he’ll be sitting down then gosh, out of the doors he’ll fly He’ll come back just in time to hear his dear old mother sigh. You’re either up in the air or down in the dumps, You’re full of good cheer or you’re full of the grumps, It’s hard to foresee where next you will be, Up in the air or down in the dumps You sigh and you moan then you sulk and you groan, Then suddenly say, "Well I like it that way". It isn’t amusing it’s wholly confusing Up in the air or down in the dumps Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone, Take note of this old saying, "Strike a happier tone". You’re either up in the air or down in the dumps, In one of you’re high spots or one of you’re slumps, We’re all getting tired so please be inspired, Stay up in the air and out of the dumps. You're up in the air or down in the dumps You’re full of good cheer or you’re full of the grumps, It’s hard to foresee where next you will be, Up in the air or down in the dumps You sigh and you moan then you sulk and you groan, Then suddenly say, "I like it that way". Course it isn’t amusing boys, it’s only confusing Stay up in the air and out of the dumps Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone, Take note of this old saying, "Strike a happier tone". You’re either up in the air or down in the dumps, In one of you’re high spots or one of you’re slumps, We’re all getting tired so please be inspired, Stay up in the air – yes up in the air Up in the air and out of the dumps. Back To Top Of Page